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From Richard Conniffs interesting book, The Ape in the Corner Office: How to Make Friends, Win Fights and Work Smarter by Understanding Human Nature:

It turned out that the fifteen high-performance teams averaged 5.6 positive interactions for every negative one. The nineteen low-performance teams racked up a positive/negative ratio of just .363. That is, they had about three negative interactions for every positive one…

And:

Whats even scarier is that Losadas five-to-one ratio also appears to be essential when you get home and try to muster the energy for a successful marriage. John Gottmann at the University of Washington has found that couples with a ratio of fewer than five positive interactions for every negative one are destined for divorce.

Also:

Curiously, the magic number also seems to have a close parallel in the ratio of positive behaviors…and negative behaviors…among monkeys and apes. Thus the five-to-one ratio begins to look suspiciously like a basic primate need.

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When I thought about my past (and present) romantic relationships, Id assumed that Id been the one to say I love you first. I mean, thats what normally happens, right? Were the gushy girls who cant wait to get it out of our mouths, so we always say it first and spill it at every opportunity … right?

Not so much.

Women are the romantics in relationships. Were the ones quickest to let those words tumble out of our mouths, right? Id have sworn up and down that women say it first.

Id also have been wrong –men are actually more likely to say I love you first. Shocking, I know.

In a survey of people in their mid-20s to their 60s, performed by a social psychologist at MIT, it was discovered that men declare love before women 70 percent of the time. But whats even more shocking is that the study found that its when a man says I love you, that really matters.

Men who say I love you, before sex are often looking for a short term fling. They may leverage those words to get sex out of the deal.

Men who say those three words AFTER sex, however, are more likely to value — and be seeking out — long-term relationships. Using those three words, I love you, after sex is a much better indicator of the true emotions behind those words — as neither party is trying to get something out of the equation. Sex has been had, theres no more ambiguity as to what each person feels and wants. That means its time for honesty.

Turns out that the science behind I love you, tells you a lot about your partner. And thats a good thing.

Who said I love you first in your current relationship?

Image via qthomasbower/Flickr

The general feeling has been that social media marketing is beneficial for SMBs. And indeed, marketing gurus have been prescribing social media engagement to SMBs as an obvious no-brainer.

Nielsen’s recent Social Media Report, however, has some marketers questioning the value of social media marketing for SMBs.

Nielsens survey found that, besides connecting with family and friends, 68% of social media users go to social networking sites to read product reviews, and more than 50% use the sites to provide product feedback.  Other top purposes were entertainment (67%), as a creative outlet (64%), to learn about products (58%), and to get coupons or promotions (54%).

These findings caused Greg Sterling to ask whether SMBs were wasting their time on social media. As Sterling wrote, “The rush by SMBs into Facebook and, to a lesser degree, other social media sites (eg, Twitter) is well documented by me and others. But is it misplaced?”

The Nielsen data, Sterling argued, shows that creating a showcase of customer reviews/responses and offering deals are things most aligned with consumer usage of social media sites. Everything else, he said, “may be misplaced effort.”  The survey data, he said, casts doubt on the efficacy of social media for lead-generation and customer acquisition for local merchants.

Erin Iwata supports Sterling’s view, arguing that social media may not be appropriate for many SMBs. Although the Facebook “Like” button is ubiquitous, she says, “it doesn’t necessarily follow that Faceboook is right for your business.” The decision factors should include your audience, budget, and business objectives.  

Nielsens findings may indicate a need to overturn our thinking, said Sterling. “I believe that social media can be effectively used as a CRM tool; however the current expectations may be too great vs. what it can deliver — especially for SMBs.”